Why Students Struggle With Emotional Regulation in School and How School-Based Services Help

School can be a challenging place for students who struggle with emotional regulation. While classrooms are designed for learning, they are also full of expectations, transitions, social interactions, and unexpected moments. For some students, these demands can quickly become overwhelming.

When emotional regulation is difficult, it often shows up as behavior in school. Understanding why this happens and how school-based mental health services help can make a meaningful difference for students, families, and educators.

Understanding Emotional Regulation Challenges

Emotional regulation is a child’s ability to recognize their feelings, manage them, and express emotions in a safe and healthy way. This includes calming down when upset, communicating emotions, and responding thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

What Emotional Dysregulation Looks Like in School:

• Aggression or unsafe behaviors

• Leaving the classroom without permission

• Intense emotional reactions

• Impulsive actions or verbal outbursts

These behaviors are often misunderstood as intentional. In reality, they are usually signs that a student is overwhelmed and does not yet have the skills to cope.

Common Triggers in School

Many students struggle most when their environment feels unpredictable. Changes in routine, unclear expectations, or not getting their way can quickly push a nervous system into a heightened state.

For students with a history of trauma or chronic stress, this response is even more intense. Their bodies may already be on high alert, constantly scanning their surroundings to feel safe. When something unexpected happens, the brain reacts before there is time to think.

Trauma can also impact development. Some students experience delays in emotional, social, or cognitive skills. In certain cases, the part of the brain responsible for impulse control and decision-making may be underdeveloped, making regulation more difficult.

Why Emotional Regulation Challenges Often Show Up at School

Some caregivers notice that their child manages emotions better at home than at school. This is very common and does not mean the child is choosing to behave differently.

Increased Demands and Expectations

School places constant demands on students. They are expected to:

• Sit still and focus for long periods

• Follow rules and routines

• Complete academic work

• Navigate peer interactions

For students with regulation challenges, these expectations can feel overwhelming. Academic struggles may lead to frustration, embarrassment, or shame, which can quickly trigger emotional outbursts.

Unstructured Time and Transitions

Unstructured moments are often the hardest parts of the day. Transitions such as arrival, switching classes, lunch, recess, or assemblies can feel confusing when expectations are unclear.

When students do not know what they should be doing, behavior often escalates as a result.

Unmet Needs and Communication Gaps

Emotional regulation is also affected by basic unmet needs. These may include lack of sleep, hunger, sensory overload, or feeling unsafe.

Many students who struggle emotionally also struggle to communicate what they need. When they cannot explain how they feel, behavior becomes their way of communicating.

How School-Based Services Help Students Build Regulation Skills

School-based mental health services support students where challenges happen most often, during the school day.

Teaching Emotional Awareness and Coping Skills

School-based therapists help students learn to identify emotions, understand what those emotions feel like in their bodies, and practice coping strategies that fit the school environment.

Students may learn to:

• Label and identify emotions

• Recognize physical signs of escalation

• Practice coping strategies when calm

• Communicate feelings safely

This repetition helps coping skills become more automatic when emotions run high.

Practicing Skills in Real Time

One of the biggest benefits of school-based services is in-the-moment support. Therapists can help students practice skills as challenges arise, rather than waiting until later to process what happened.

Support during the school day may include:

• Breathing or grounding exercises

• Mindfulness or brief meditation

• Movement or sensory breaks

• Access to calming or safe spaces

This real-time practice helps students connect skills to real situations.

Identifying Triggers and Early Warning Signs

School-based teams work closely with students to identify personal triggers and early signs of escalation. When students begin to notice these signs, they can start using coping strategies before emotions become overwhelming.

Trauma-Informed Approaches to Emotional Regulation

Laurel Life uses trauma-informed practices to support students who struggle with regulation.

Traditional discipline focuses on consequences after a behavior occurs. Trauma-informed care focuses on understanding what led to the behavior and what need the student is trying to meet.

A trauma-informed response:

• Looks beyond the behavior itself

• Considers a student’s history and experiences

• Focuses on safety, connection, and skill-building

When adults understand the “why” behind behavior, they are better able to respond calmly and effectively.

Collaboration With Teachers and School Teams

Emotional regulation support is most effective when therapists, teachers, and caregivers work together.

Supporting Teachers in the Classroom

School-based therapists collaborate with teachers to identify strategies that support individual students. This includes helping educators recognize student triggers, learn co-regulation techniques, and reflect on their own emotional responses during challenging moments.

Classroom Strategies That Support Regulation

Many students benefit from classrooms that are predictable and structured. Helpful strategies often include:

• Posted schedules and visual supports

• Consistent routines and expectations

• Built-in movement or sensory breaks

• Regular review of classroom expectations

Students should not be expected to automatically know what is expected of them. Clear teaching and repetition are essential.

Involving Caregivers

Caregiver involvement strengthens progress. Therapists support families by helping caregivers understand emotional regulation, reflect on their own responses, and practice coping strategies at home. Consistency across settings helps students generalize skills.

Real Progress and Meaningful Outcomes

With school-based support, schools often notice improvements such as increased academic stamina, better task completion, and fewer disruptions during the school day.

Progress looks different for every student. Factors such as ongoing trauma, home stability, and caregiver involvement all affect the timeline for change.

Small wins matter and are often overlooked. These include:

• Students identifying how they feel

• Naming emotions while calm

• Attempting to communicate before reacting

Even when challenges continue, these moments signal real growth.

A Trauma-Informed Framework That Guides Our Work

Laurel Life uses the ARC Framework, which stands for Attachment, Regulation, and Competency. This approach supports students who have experienced trauma by addressing areas of development that may have been disrupted.

Attachment

Supporting caregivers and modeling healthy emotional responses

Regulation

Helping students identify emotions and practice coping strategies

Competency

Building higher-level thinking, relationship skills, executive functioning, and self-esteem

Together, these components support long-term healing and growth.

Final Thoughts for Families and Educators

Emotional regulation is a learned skill. Students are not choosing to struggle. Every behavior serves a purpose and reflects an unmet need.

When adults respond with understanding, structure, and consistency, students gain the tools they need to succeed emotionally and academically. Progress, even when small, is meaningful and worth celebrating.